Tuesday, March 24, 2015

because hilary duff hates her family.

>>I would have a mirrion birrion babies if I was promised to never have to bring them grocery shopping.

^^^ I just lost all of my asian friends. AKA, I didn't lose any friends because asians hate me. Probably because I say things like mirrion birrion.

>>I really don't have anything against asians. I promise. I love you all. And your food.

>>Does anyone love me enough to buy tupperware? I have a strange obsession with tupperware. Also I tend to forget about leftovers & would rather throw it away than risk unleashing a new disease from whatever grew in there.

>>Mindy Kaling is so hilarious. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I never sleep ever, and so everything is either hilarious or horrifying. She happened to be lucky enough to end up on the hilarious end of things.

>>If you didn't notice, I'm watching Mindy Project. and now I'm crying. So many emotions. This isn't even sad. I promise I'm not pregnant. In fact, I can guarantee I'm not.

>>I don't think I will ever grow out of my love for Avril Lavigne. Maybe my soul just hasn't aged for 10+ years. Because Under My Skin is still one of my favorite albums.

>>Dear people who take phone orders: Is "allie" REALLY that hard to understand? I mean... I can understand how Cafe Rio mistook "Amanda L." for "Ermelda Ul" (Remember that, Moo? hahahahahah Ermelda. hahahha.  that will always be hilarious) But when I tell you my name is Allie and the only name you have down is Celeste... I don't think "It's hard to hear through the phone" is a valid excuse. I can excuse all the people who have called me Allen, Callie, and even Emily.

- side note regarding the name emily. i plan on having triplets and naming them emily, emery, and ann-marie. that's all -

Anyway. Yesterday I picked up some dry cleaning and was really pleased with the service. I mean, how often do you get to go INTO the dry cleaner and find every article of clothing you dropped off? Talk about stress case.
"Sorry, we don't have anything under the name Allie Cox."
"How about we get your name and number and call you tomorrow."
"How about I kill you and your family and take over your trashy business."
"Okay, please come in and find your clothes."

Turns out it was under Kristin Cox.
Okay, deaf boy. Time for you to find a new job. I SPELLED my name for you. IN PERSON. There is no excuse. Also, thanks for the 10% discount due to the "inconvenience". Now I only spent 9/10 of my son's college funds. (Is it just me or is 12.95 per article of clothing expensive? Especially for a place that loses all of their customer's stuff.) Kristin won't be returning anytime soon.

>>I'd like to give a shout out to Mr. Peabody & Sherman for educating children all over the world that George Washington never chopped down a cherry tree. Hopefully it will save kids from finding out that shattering truth in their 20s. I'm still not over it.

>>if you're still confused as to why Hilary Duff hates her family, remember her song "Come Clean"?
I used to think it said,

let the rain fall down, and wake my dreams
let it wash away my family. 

turns out she didn't want her family washed away after all.


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