Thursday, May 17, 2012

the truth about forever

Raise your rhetorical hand if the title, "the truth about forever" made you think of something in the category of love. You know, being married for time and all eternity. The idea that your first love will stay in your heart forever. The idea that forever will never be long enough to be with the person you care most about, and other gross cheesy cliches. It makes sense that you would associate the word 'forever' to love and romance. (And/or lust.) Whatever blows your skirt up. (It's okay, this is a judge-free zone.)

However, MY truth about forever is not about dating, marriage, love, babies, husbands, yadda yadda. It is oh so much more than that. 

Forever is kind of a big word, wouldn't you say? Not "supercalifradgelousdicexpialadocious" status. I'm talking about the meaning of the word. You know the ones. Our dear friend Forever is one of those words. He eats lunch at the same table as commitment, hate, always, and love. He's the kind of word that comes with a lot of word-baggage. 

Now put forever on hold for a minute or two (or three or four…) and focus on me. ME. Okay, don't. We're not focusing on me, we are focusing on people in general who have a very poor sense of time. Like me. When I'm reading a book, two hours turns into two seconds. When I'm at work, two seconds is eight trillion light years. It seems the things we enjoy most tend to go by quicker than those we dislike. (Duh, Allie. Everybody knows that.)

But then there is forever. FOR.EV.ER. Forever is a long, long time. It's actual definition is- for all future time; for always. So what is forever? Let me tell you friends. What I am about to reveal to you is something you all should be more than familiar with. This is the truth about forever. I'm ratting him out. 

So what is it? (I decided to be annoying and type it in white so you couldn't cheat and read ahead. To experience the most anti-climactic part of the post, please highlight the words below.)

Forever? Oh, forever is the time it takes for dinner to be ready.
It is the amount of time that has passed since you went to the movies.
Forever is the happiness you experience when you marry your best friend for time and all eternity. (awwwww. there it is.)

Forever is also how long it takes to fully clean an elderly person's bum.

For those of you who can't relate, give me a call. I will be more than happy to help.


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