Wednesday, January 10, 2018



Hi, friends! I had this whole "it's been so long since I've blogged and I have such visions for the future and #newyearnewme" intro written out, but ultimately decided to skip the formalities because we all know I'll write this and then abandon ship for a minimum of 4 months. However, in the event that I actually do keep up on this,


New Year, New Me!
lol, jk. I'm still the hot mess I've always been.

Also I'm apologizing in advance, I've been out of the blogging (or doing any sort of writing) scene for awhile, so my vocab is (thumbs down emoji) and I speak like a mom who only interacts with humans under the age of 4.

If you're new to the blog, thank you for stopping by. If you're in shock that you got an email saying I updated this thing, welcome back! Either way, I'm starting this thing completely from scratch and we're starting off with a MEET THE VOMITER post.


Hello, I'm Allie.

I am the voice behind Word Vomit. I say inappropriate things at family gatherings and occasionally document the insanity that is my life & motherhood. Welcome to my blog.

I'm a mother in her mid-twenties who is currently trying to find a decent balance between being a mom without losing who I am as a person. Consequently, this results in a lot of strange interactions between myself and my children, and occasionally some rando who didn't ask to be part of this narrative. It makes life really interesting.

I have a four year old son who does things like yell, "MOM! MY PENIS IS GROWING!" in the middle of a baptism prayer, and a daughter who has the personality of an angel but the hair of a homeless redneck who got attacked by an angry barber. They keep me on my toes and also are the reason I have permanent bags under my eyes and am sprouting too many white hairs to count.

I'm the type of person who sometimes forgets to cover my mouth when I yawn, which I've learned is a really weird thing for people to witness. Sorry for my big mouth and weird face.

Life isn't always perfect, and I'm big on keeping things real and transparent. It's okay to laugh at your misfortunes & awkward moments. It's also okay to tell people when you're struggling. I hope for this to be a place where I can tell my stories that will have tears running down your face in laughter, but also I want to feel comfortable wearing my heart on my sleeve if I have a moment of vulnerability and decide to share more personal things.

I don't know exactly what my vision is for my little corner of the internet, but I do hope it becomes a place people enjoy visiting, and visiting often. I promise to keep posting if you promise to keep coming back!

Welp! That's all, folks!
love, peace, & chicken grease (i've never been good at this sort of thing)

- al


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