Wednesday, June 11, 2014

22. [not an ode to T Swift]

I love self check-out.

Some of you may not know this, but I am quite the opposite of a social butterfly. I have always always been on America's Top 100 Most Awkward People To Ever Exist. It's not something I'm particularly proud of, but I've dealt with it. It's not as though I don't want to be social and fun and have friends... I mean, I prefer to think I'm a pretty decent human. But put me next to someone I'm not married/related to, and I turn into the female version of George Michael Bluth.

That being said, I love NEED self check-out. I can't be bothered to put on my social big-girl panties and have a normal conversation with the cashier. (Unless they are from Costco. I love Costco employees.)

There are few occasions where self check-out isn't an option, and I am forced to come face to face with the adversary. Such an occasion happened not too long ago.

I happened to be buying a few supplies for my husband at Home Depot. There was no self check-out, so I went to the only open check-out stand and gave the cashier man my supplies.

"Would you like to sign up for blah-blah-yada-yada...? I can save you about $20 dollars on your purchase today."

"Mmmm, no."

He laughed awkwardly.  "You're right. I don't even know why I asked you. You have to be at least 21 to even do that. Just forget it."

Seriously? I smiled slightly, amused at the fact that he was quite possibly more awkward than myself (and that he thought I was so young).  "I'm 22."

He stood there. My stuff had been paid for, but he hadn't given it to me yet.
"Ah, to be twenty-two again." He looked 25. Late twenties, at best.

"Hah.. yeah..." Alright weirdo, are you going to hand me my stuff or am I going to have to take it and run?

He looked off into the distance. "My girlfriend is 22."

"Okay..." I grabbed my bag. "Bye."

I ran. I ran and never looked back. I left that weird man and his 22 year old girlfriend behind, determined to move forward with my life (insert other words about moving on, etc).

I regret nothing.


  1. when you are faced with the choice of self check-out and not self check-out you ALWAYS CHOOSE SELF CHECK-OUT!!!! you get me

    p.s. this will show up as Dallin but this is Meg... too lazy to log him out and sign me in.. it's a whole thing