Saturday, September 14, 2013

it's 2AM and I'm pregnant

Really all that means is I can say whatever I want and not feel bad about it. I've lost my filter anyway.

Without further ado, enjoy some terrible thoughts.

- Bloggers are so original these days. Oh, wait...
- My stomach is not made of paper-thin glass. If you want to feel the baby, you're actually going to have to touch more than the tip of my ever-growing stomach hair. I promise I won't break.
- I think I might give birth to an octopus. There is no way this kid can be head down and still be poking and prodding in that many places.
- Betsey Ross could cut a 5-pointed star with one scissor snip, and that's why G. Washington picked her to make the first american flag. My husband & his dad/brothers don't appreciate this fact nearly as much as I do. In fact, they went on for about 20 minutes about how George Washington scaled the country looking for someone who could be that efficient. Apparently the job posting would have read, "three-snippers need not apply." But still. ONE scissor snip. 
- If teenage girls knew what losing their virginity felt like, they'd be duct taping their legs closed.

That last comment was completely unnecessary and inappropriate.
Just what I was going for.


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