Tuesday, February 12, 2013

the girl who disappeared

I did not throw my bouquet.

Growing up, I hated attending weddings if I knew I would be there long enough for the bouquet toss. I went for the food, but apparently even if you're stuffing your face, single girls must stand desperately in a group and elbow each other to catch the bundle of flowers that signifies they probably won't have to do that at the next wedding they attend (considering it's hopefully their own).

I always thought it was a silly tradition.

"I'm 15. So help me if they make me stand in that mosh pit of crazies just to get karate chopped in the groin. I won't catch the bouquet, because I'm not even going to try. I'm fifteen. This is bogus."

My speeches (to nobody) didn't happen to work. Somehow I was always dragged into the pit of misery and humiliation. If you're a firm believer in the bouquet-catching phenomenon, let me tell you - I never caught a bouquet, and I am happily married.

So when the time came for me to wear a white gown, I made a vow to save the souls who happened to think as I did. I refused to toss my bouquet.

Originally I had a plan to give out the flowers of my bouquet to people who I really appreciated, kind of as a token of my gratitude and their significance in my life. However, due to the wrong flowers being ordered, I didn't feel like giving out 50 small flowers rather than the 10 bigger ones.

Toward the end of the reception, I decided to go up and change. It was time to get out of there and on to other things (like my husband). I made the mistake of carrying my bouquet up with me to the bride's room, which happened to be conveniently located at a spot that was perfect for tossing my flowers. Girls started bunching together in anticipation.

Unaware of this, I walked into my room and shut the door.
People were confused when I didn't come out.
What they didn't know is that I was in there much longer than anticipated due to wardrobe malfunction. But that is a story for another time.

In other news, my husband once caught a bouquet. It got caught in a fan after it was thrown, and happened to be shot right into his arms.


Post a Comment