Wednesday, August 8, 2012

If wishes were fishes...

then my life would smell terrible.

Along with my impulsive wants come many long-lasting wishes. Along with a job as a life guard comes endless amount of time to wish I was doing anything OTHER than life guarding.

After we got engaged, the mister and I were going through a few old boxes of his. We found essays, poems and the works of things he had done in junior high school. One essay we found was about where his life would be at age twenty-five.

It said "I will be married to a life guard."
What do you know? Dreams do come true. 

I am sure that his thirteen year old self was very unaware of the daily happenings of being a life guard. For those of you who have been a life guard, you may well be the only people who truly understand what I am about to say.

As a life guard, I get paid to produce sweat marks in particularly attractive areas. Thanks to my great posture, the under part of my boobs tend to sweat more than they should. Thus resulting in really cute stains on my swimming suit.

We also get to watch other women show off their sweat-producing body parts [boobs] by wearing swimming suits that are virtually a half-inch away from showing their nipple. Unfortunately for creeps, the women who wear things like this aren't even the attractive ones that come to the pool.

The other part of my job is teaching little youngens to put their face in the water without throwing up eight thousand times. (Oh, the joys of swimming lessons.) Don't get me wrong, there are days where I love that job. Today was not one of those days. Halfway through one of the lessons, I turned to a fellow life guard and said, "The vibrations that her vocal chords emit are potentially altering my mental sanity." Trust me when I say I would rather hang out with a few nails on a chalk-board.

So, what would I rather do than sweat and listen to piercing child squeals?

I would love to get paid to travel the world. No, really. Hear me out. The type of travel I speak of doesn't consist of visiting every tourist attraction and buying miniature Eiffel Towers. I mean to go to a less privileged part of the places I visit, and help the people out who live there. I don't say this to sound like a good person, because really if I were trying to make it seem that way I would say I'd do it for free.

I love to experience different culture. I love seeing places and learning things that are foreign to me and the way I was raised. I find absolute joy in helping others. (I know that whole tid-bit about teaching lessons says otherwise, but I swear it's true.) So if I were to have the opportunity to grab my husband, jump on a plane and go from country to country just helping people in any possible way I could…
You might say I had landed my dream job.

But those are wishes.
Which, fortunately, are not fishes.

So for now… things are smelling all right.