Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Ladies,

Sometimes we feel chubby.

Right now, I am sitting (after playing the first soccer game I've played in too long) and can feel my fat hang over my spandex, as well as sweat gathering in my mini-rolls.

Last time this happened, I decided to take action. My college room mate, Kim, and I had a problem. We couldn't go food shopping without coming back with over 20% of our groceries being sweets, ice cream, or candy. As our bank accounts became empty and alone, our fat cells were making all sorts of friends. Changes needed to be made. We decided to go "Pavlov's dogs" on ourselves; Any time we craved candy, we would eat a stick of celery. For those of you who might consider trying this:

Ask me if I have celery anywhere in this apartment.

Now ask me how many cupboards, drawers, and bowls are stashed full of candy.

So as I sit here, seriously considering taking my life in a 100% healthy direction... I am thinking about getting a snow cone. I guess you could say I'm experiencing a bit of cognitive dissonance.

(To be perfectly honest right now, I just spent the last 15 minutes racking my brain to remember that phrase. Thank you, Psych 1100.)




On another note, I LOVE babies. I especially love handing them back to their parents when food presents itself. Also, I have the world's greatest husband. Which is the real reason I started writing this post, but my fat rolls got the best of me. So, to start over…

Ladies,


Find yourself a man who will delay your bedtime to surprise serenade you with Eric Clapton's 'Wonderful Tonight'.

When you find someone you like, watch Prison Break together. There is no better bonding time for my husband and I than when we are sitting on opposite ends of the couch… And I am being completely serious.

Don't fret over disaster dates. It is because of them that I am married to this man. One of our first 'dates' ever, I got pulled over & Taylor choked on a jalapeno pepper and cried. We have also experienced a car full of smoke from a busted AC, and broken 5 heavy-duty wrenches trying to change a tire. Oh, and we both had cold-sores on Valentine's Day.


It's okay to splurge on snow cones. I recommend Island Flavor (in Holladay) or Lani's Shave Ice (9000 S).

Hold your arm out in the shower and let the water run down and shoot off your fingers. It will make you feel like you have magic powers.

I have once again deviated from the subject of my wonderful husband.
He'll get over it.


Have a nice day, don't date guys with bad hygiene, and go eat a snow cone.

Oh, and watch some PB. (prison break.) You wont regret it.

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